Tomorrow is practice with my band afterschool.  We’ll be taking pictures for our website, which (unfortunately) will be hosted on My(emo)Space.  Hopefully we’ll be getting some new songs down, and work our current ones into a state of semi-perfection.  We play at the mall on February 18th at the Stamp-Out-Smoking gig.  After practice, I’m debating the choice of either meeting up with Shaya and Candace, or going to church (which I really NEED to do).  But for now, I have to do some dishes that are calling out my name.  “CALEB!” they cry. 

Deuces,
Caleb

P. effin’. S.- Today is my 76th day sober.  WoOt-ness for me!

How amazing, I managed to get no comments
on that last post. 
How splendid!

You want to know something I hate? 
I hate it when people make irrelevant comments on my posts
and then ask me to comment them back
“If I love them”

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Today was a decent day.  Before I knew it, lunch had already found it’s place in the day.  Yes, a very fast day it was!  Productivity on the other hand may not have been as astonishing.  However, I did manage to divert my attention from schoolwork long enough to write a song, poem, and a few doodles on notebook paper.  I’m not quite done with some of the drawings, but I’ll post the writings now, and one drawing that I’ve finished.

---

(The song…)

(Intro) [Unfinished]

(Verse 1)
Truth creating hypnotic lines in space
Misanthropes dissipate and erase
Revealing cyan hued lies left askew
Absolve the weathered, dispose the new

(Instrumental Break)

(Verse 2)
Creation lies within the sum of none.
Unknown equations presage what all becomes.
Left blind to truth, no true conception
Of the hand that moves the constellations.

(Chorus)
Breathe for the One
that makes stars cry out His name.
Peace be to those
who do not view the world the same.
Red-lettered passages
contain what souls should find.
Open up hearts
and the truth will flood your mind!

(Verse 3) [unfinished]

(Bridge)
Reflect upon origins
from which stars are born.
The Sun will remember
the clouds that you scorn.

…you are stardust
in the Creator’s Masterpiece…

(Chorus x2)

(Outro) [Unfinished]

---

(The poem…) [Unfinished???]

Vacant eyes
bule the steel
that peirce flesh
and kill the will.
Creating lies among
cyanide pools for reflection
abolishing protection
leaving no recollection
of truth before
silent annexation
of a compromising realism.
No Sir!
Imperialism is not practical
when Capitalism become tactical

[...to be continued]

---

All we need is time to find
we have all the time in the world.
People change when
places stay the same.
And it leads to confusion
a mental contusion
regarding the place from which we came.
Because people change
but these places…
they stay the same.

---

(The drawing…) [Band Emblem???]


I think it’s a good concept for a Christian band.
If you read in the depicted passage (Revelations 6:5)
you will understand the drawing better.

It says:

“When the Lamb opened the third seal,
I heard the third living creature say, ‘Come!’  I
looked, and there before me was a black horse! 
Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand.”

My interpretation of the black horse is that it symbolizes
equality and justice.  That is what the world could use
a little more of after all. 

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Deuces,
[buff]MUFF

I have 88 subscribers
and a total of 3,367 visitors
as of December 30th, 2005. 
“Neat!” as Bryn would say.

New Poetry

Verses like hearses
you die to get in
I pray for my salvation of sins
In hopes that my wrongs will amend
Because one day they’ll lower the casket I’m in.
Remember the 1-2 step from wince you came
is the same as the 3-4 step 
that leads to your grave.
Don’t worry about your “rep” or about your name,
because if you obsess then you’ll remain in flames.
Reflect on origins from which stars are born
The Sun will remember the clouds you scorned.
Create rivers of thought from cacophonies that taught
You to dream for the things that you sought.
There are many things that will stay the same,
The body returns to where it became.
Make a semi-permanent image
of reality and the things you did in it.
So realize things you do when they’re wrong.
Because everyone wants people
to remember their song

You’re not DMV, you’re just another drunk look-alike!”

Last night was not all it cracked up to be, and then again, it was much, much more.  The neighbors called us at 8:30 saying we were too loud, so we decided to practice some other time.  We went to Starbucks, where Joe lost his phone, and we finally found it face-down in a puddle of water.  If Joe were Ryan Simmons, he wouldn’t have been as lucky.  He would have found it ran over about 50 times by a UPS truck.  Then we went Downtown, where Ryan brought his guitar, and a Mariachi band stole it from us to earn money (probably bus money to get back home) by playing foreign songs and the likes.  Then there was the bus full of BETA Club girls that screamed out the window at us.  Cody flashed his spinning belt buckle at them.  Should have called Amber, but transportation was already a problem, and I had to be home at 11:30.  Anyways, that was my night.

(Tell me, can anyone hear a song playing on my site?)

BLAH!

Things I did today:

* Went to school

* Went to my first four periods.

* Then went to Lake Hamilton school for All-Regions Clinic (I didn’t try-out, but I figured I could still watch.

* I saw Betsy.  She made my day.  The true reason I went to the Clinic is because I figured that it had already been a whole year since I saw her, and this was my one chance to see her this year.  I don’t think I could stand not seeing her for two years straight.  I know what you’re thinking…..”Awww!”……and you know what I’m thinking?  “That’s right.”

(Shaya, take that how you want.  Just remember that even for me, there are something you can’t have, and Betsy is one of those things unfortunately…I think atleast.)

* I saw Amber.  I hope she calls me tonight, depite my forgetting to mention her the first time I posted this entry, and had to correct it after feeling awful for failing to do so.

* I came home to my Dark Lion, my partner in crime and household messes, my cat, Shadow.  He had to stay at the vet for a few days because he had what we believe to be a urinary tract infection.  He could have diabetes too, or it might be F.U.S.  We got medicine for him, and he has to lose like 6 pounds because he’s overweight (18 lbs.).  Along with Betsy, seeing shadow made my day too.

Things for tomorrow:

* Wake up and clean my room.

* Get a new G-String (I know what you were thinking, you sick freaks.  My G-String for my bass, you know, the highest string).

* Go see my friends again at the All-Regions Concert at 2pm.  Make sure Betsy still has my number and make sure I have hers, so we can talk. 

* Band practice with Ryan, Mikey, Bryn, and maybe Joe at 8pm.

---

Well, I’m out.  ‘Tis been a LONG day, and I don’t think I can stand it anymore, actually, I don’t even think I can stand anymore, literally. 

This is the beginning of a possible new song I’m writing.

(Verse One?)

Becoming closer, how
is the focus now?
Do you see me clearly?

Better or worse, I say
I’ll adjust, is that okay?
Nearsight makes it hard to see me.

(Chorus)

Dance for the one
That makes the stars
cry out His name.

Peace be to those
who do not view
the world the same.

Red-lettered passages
contain what souls
should find.

Open your hearts
and the truth will flood
your minds!

(…to be continued)

---

I wrote that song on the back of a paper bag that had popcorn in it.  I guess when inspiration comes, it comes!

Until next time my loves,
Buff Muff is outta tha building.

P.effin.S.:  My bass playing skillz go into an equation sorta like this

Mark Rucker < Me < Keegen Knapp

Had a practice with Ryan, Michael, and Bryn yesterday afterschool.  They might not have thought I played so well, but remember that I haven’t picked up a bass in about a week, plus I’m not used to playing a 4-string.  They have some pretty good songs, I guess.  After that I went to the Poet’s Loft with Justus.  It was alright, but I didn’t perform the best that I could have.  Shaya’s friend was CRAZY last night.  I didn’t catch a bit of sleep though, and ended up going to bed at around 3 o’clock this morning.  I’ve learned that the longer you stay up without sleep, the longer the next day seems.  I only pray that it goes by with some haste. 

…at least the Steelers are going to the Superbowl.

Going to the Poet’s Loft tomorrow night at 8.  Then I have practice with Ryan’s band afterschool.  Homework between that.  School after everything, but not before sleep. 

My dad was telling me about a sign at a church that read:  “Take a leap of faith, God will catch you.”  And it showed really beautiful scenery with a man leaping off of a bridge. 

To me, that seems like the church is encouraging suicide.  That’s total CrAP right there!

Deuces,
Buff Muff

I look back at the beginning
Back before Adam was sinning.
A time before the creation
Before swords waged war nations.
And in the darkness of the universe
I wonder if mankind was truly cursed
to ponder its existance
If salvation was there and we missed it,
Why our morals are so masochistic
Why we enjoy ourselves
while we destroy ourselves 
And we create realities that are unrealistic.
Why do we have eyes that see only lies
Because the fact is we never can fly
until we learn to see the truth
something veiled by the things we do,
until we discover what we need to uncover.
It’s time to chill my brothers
Stop trying to kill one another
Remember it takes skill to be real
Its time to heal eachother.
There’s some changes that we need to make
Stop taking lives that we really don’t need to take.
Start looking at eachother indifferently
blind of wealth, language, or nationality
We need to stop doing things so separately
It’s the only way to better this society.
When we live blind
that’s when we’ll truly see!

---

Why is there a double standard?
They give their vows
And after the groom ties the knot
he marries the couch,
While the wife
gets an arranged marriage with her broom,
a click of the remote
and the relationship is doomed.
Go back to the beginning
where her troubles all started
a unused prom dress
and a girl left broken hearted.

---

Deuces,
-C-

Last night I got bored and couldn’t sleep (again), so I started drawing some graffiti.

“White Horse”

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Peace out kiddos.  Leave some comments and stuff.

-Caleb

 Here’s something new for all of you…

…I’m off of house arrest.  Plain & Simple.  My probation officer was impressed with my behavior over the last few weeks, and so he decided to let me off early (I was supposed to get off at the end of this month).  And so now I’m walking funny because the weight is off in my legs.  I have adjustable curfews (meaning that my parents decide when I should be home, so all I have to do is ask permission to go somewhere), and if I have really good behavior over the next few months I can get my DL back early, otherwise it will be my next court date (which is 6 months from now).  My next court date (depending on behavior) will be the final review, and I will at that time be removed from intensive tracking (the curfews, that is), and I will get my Driver’s License back.  You guys call me!  501.520.7979.  I have to finish this Antigone project now, so I’m gonna get on that.  Just wanted to give all of you a heads up.  You know how we do.

---

New Poem

---

“The Holly Bush” © Caleb Cooley 2006

That old holly bush
Still green after years of age
The same home
for the seasonal sparrow
every winter
The same jagged entanglement of barbs
that almost took my eye
when I was young
the same impenetrable fortress
for childhood “war games”
Now
A refuge of solitude
for a weary mind
A mentor of endurance
in harsh, unforgiving hailstorms
A protector for the broken spirits
of those retired “war game” veterans
And still
An old holly bush
Green
Even after years of age.

---

Here’s some things you might not know about me

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• My whole name is William “Caleb” Cooley.

*”William” is a family “heirloom name” that can be traced back more than 8 generations on the Cooley side of the family.  The name is always given to the firstborn son of a marriage, and the William of that marriage passes the name on to his first born son, so on and so forth.
*”Caleb” is a biblical name, stemming from the biblical character Caleb, who was one of the only two, along with Joshua, that God allowed to see the Promise Land.
*”Cooley” is an Irish sir name stemming from the Cooley Peninsula in Ireland.  This was the legendary home of the giant, Finn M’Cool and the setting of Ulster’s greatest saga, the Tain bo Cuailgne, the epic folk tale of the hero Cuchullain, the Red Branch Knights of Ulster, wicked Queen Maebhe of Connaught and the mighty Brown Bull of Cooley.

• I want to get my eyebrow pierced with a bar, and a back tattoo similar to this:
  
  
  


• 
  
  When I have children of my own I want to give them biblical names

Boy

Isaac-  From the Hebrew name Yitschaq which meant “he laughs”. Isaac in the Old Testament was the son of Abraham and the father of Esau and Jacob.                  

Isaiah-  From the Hebrew name Yesha’yahu meaning “YAHWEH is salvation”. Isaiah was a major prophet of the Old Testament, supposedly the author of the Book of Isaiah. He was from Jerusalem and probably lived in the 8th century BC.

Joshua-  From the Hebrew name Yehoshua which meant “YAHWEH is salvation”. Joshua was one of the twelve spies sent into Canaan by Moses in the Old Testament. After Moses died Joshua succeeded him as leader of the Israelites. The name Jesus was a variant of the name Joshua.

Gabe (for Gabriel)-  From the Hebrew name Gabriyel which meant “strong man of God” and “my God is with me” . Gabriel is one of the seven archangels in Hebrew tradition. He appears in both the Old Testament and the New Testament, where he serves as the announcer of the births of John to Zechariah and Jesus to Mary.

Michael-  From the Hebrew name Miyka’el which meant “who is like God?”. This is the name of one of the seven archangels in Hebrew tradition and the only one identified as an archangel in the Bible. In the Book of Revelation in the New Testament he is portrayed as the leader of heaven’s armies, and thus is considered the patron saint of soldiers.

Peter-  Derived from the Greek Ðåôñïò (Petros) meaning “stone”. This is a translation used in most versions of the Bible of the name Cephas (meaning “stone” in Aramaic) which was given to the apostle Simon by Jesus (compare Matthew 16:18 and John 1:42).

Emmanuel-  Means “God is with us” in Hebrew. This was the foretold name of the Messiah in the Old Testament.

Girl

Elizabeth-  From Elisabet, the Greek form of the Hebrew name Elisheba meaning “my God is an oath” or perhaps “my God is abundance”. In the New Testament this is the name of the mother of John the Baptist. It was also borne by the 12th-century Saint Elizabeth, a daughter of King Andrew II of Hungary who became a Franciscan nun and lived in poverty. It was also the name of a ruling queen of England and an empress of Russia. Famous modern bearers include the British queen Elizabeth II and actress Elizabeth Taylor.

Natalie-  From the Late Latin name Natalia, which meant “Christmas Day” from Latin natale domini.

Mary-  Likely originally an Egyptian name, perhaps derived in part from mry “beloved” or mr “love”. This is the name of several New Testament characters, most importantly Mary the virgin mother of Jesus, and Mary Magdalene.

Abigail-  From the Hebrew name Avigayil meaning “my father is joy”. This was the name of a wife of King David in the Old Testament.

• 
  
  My favorite movies are:  Lord of War, Finding Forrester, Save the Last Dance, A Beautiful Mind, Menace 2 Society, The Butterfly Effect, Donnie Darko, and The Exorcist.


• 
  
  My favorite bands are:  Incubus, Emery, Mudvayne, Audioslave, and Staind.


• 
  
  I first kissed a girl when I was 5 years old.


• 
  
  The one person my age, other than any family member, that I have known the longest is Emily McAnally, and I’m still not sure if I spelled her last name right!


• 
  
  I’m a virgin.  Yes, I said it.  Big deal.


• 
  
  I have 23 different scars on my body.


• 
  
  I have never been drunk.


• 
  
  There are a few girls that I know of that I would go out with in a heartbeat if they they were to ask me.

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 -Buff Muff-
Oh.6.G. (247)