IGNORE THESE FOUR WORDS

She says
She likes me,
wants to have a relationship,
not ready for one yet,
but starts talking to another guy.

I’m about tired of being the last pick of the litter you know?  I really wish finding a girl were easier because the doctors say I have ADHD and so I get side-tracked way too much.  I’m about to side-track myself from finding a relationship…period. 

I mean, honestly, I do all I can.  I’m a nice guy, I don’t cheat on the person I’m with, and I respect women more than most guys do, or so I’ve been told.

Yet, when it comes down to it, it’s always something little that trips up the entire process, and my philosophy on my relationships rings true time and time again:

Every girl that I like, I never get, and every girl I never think of, I always end up with.

Why on Earth can’t I just end up with a girl that I planned on?  A girl that is in a good location for that matter.  Hell, at the very least, a girl that I have alot in common with?

I guess women are like that sometimes though.  They pass up the good guy for the better looking ones, and they pass up the better looking ones for the ones with money, and they pass up the ones with money for the ones with fame.

But I’m going to stop trying to figure out girls, just like I stopped trying to figure out God, because every single time I think I’ve figured them out and know everything I need to know about them, they set out to prove that I know nothing at all, and I always feel like a complete idiot at the end of the day.

-Caleb

This is a letter a friend-girl of mine wrote to my ex….haha funny shit.

Anastacia Schrader:

Dear Dani,

look i don’t like you and you don’t like me. and that’s all good. i don’t want you to like me.

but i need to say something. you are a very rude person. you have no respect for caleb. making out with some other guy in his room. that’s fucked up. hitting him in public, tha’s just immature. and yeah you got it right “darling” he does like me.

GROW UP AND GET OVER IT.

telling him not to read a poem at the loft because it hurts your feelings. then you write a poem out of no where about him. how do you think that makes him feel?

Anastacia Schrader: you need to open up your pretty eyes and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you and that guys aren’t just going to throw down their lives and beliefs to be with you, or to make you happy.

your not everything Danielle. you have a very ugly outside because the way you are on the inside. the world turns but not around you. i advise you to do some serious soul searching and find out who you really are. i know I don’t know you very well but from what i’ve what i’ve heard you can be a very nice very mature young lady. don’t shine yourself to be any other way. do what you need to do, and don’t worry about other people. exspecially an ex boyfriend, don’t get pissed because he likes someone else and not you.

stacey

Caleb Cooley: brutal
Anastacia Schrader: not really that’s me being nice
Caleb Cooley: wow
Caleb Cooley: even more brutal
Anastacia Schrader: lol whatever
Caleb Cooley: I’d hate to see you being mean….that’d be like…..brutalXcore

Ugmo — [cable] says:

Ugmo — [cable] says:

Okay so clarification is needed on a few things going on in my life, so for the questions, just help me out with answers, and for the statements, well fuck, I don’t care.

Questions

• Why can’t a guy just hang out with a girl and NOT have to be fucking her, or messing around, or dating?


• Why do ex’s always find a way to make you jealous of stupid shit that shouldn’t be about?


• Why is it that every girl you like, you never get, and every girl you never think about, you always end up with?


• Why is the fucking sky blue anyways?

Statements

• Yes, I’m single and looking.


• I’m pretty much fucking pissed at my ex and her boy toy for acting like punk bitches around me tonight.  It’s like, as soon as I pick up another girl, my ex gets jealous, and that’s some bullshit attitude.


• I don’t give two flying fucks about sex right now, because it pretty much fucks up everything I’ve touched as far as relationships go, and flings are for the birds.


• I hate Xanga, but I STILL hate MySpace more.


• All of you people that call me for rides and don’t give me fucking gas money if I need it can pretty much go to hell riding on a nuclear missle.  I don’t give two flying fucks about you either.


• No, I’m not going to get you connects for drugs.  Yes I know people, but I’m not in the game anymore, so no I can’t get you a deal, and no I won’t support your damn habit anymore either, unless you give me double the gas money.  This is a fucking business.


• One last thing, pretty much everyone that hates me can go to fucking hell too.  You’re bastards.  Yes you heard right, now suck a nut.

-Cable

Okay so I think I’ve discovered the reason for my absence from Xanga.  The reason is that I haven’t been able to log onto it.  That is because the music player that I had all of a sudden decided to become a realplayer instead of what the code insisted for, a wmp interface.  Blah blah technical mumbo-jumbo here.  I don’t have realplayer on my computer, because I think that it is most definitely Nazi.  In fact, if I saw a personification of the realplayer program walking around in real life, I’d pull out a tec-9 and cap it, just because.

Now I’m not saying I actually have a tec-9, but hey, if a computer program can up and materialize, then I can up and materialize a damn tec-9 right?  My imagination, my rules.

So thus far, I don’t even remember what has happened since last log in.  Something about me being jaded and so forth, back when I just broke up with that one girl Dani and blah blah you know how relationships go.  Sex is great, it tricks people into thinking love is there too.  How convenient is the fall out of a relationship.

So this is what has happened since then.

• Moping


• Getting over the girl


• Getting back in the singles game


• Eyeing possible plausible suspects


• Hanging out with people


• Playing shows


• Going to shows


• Getting accused of being a NARC.


• Bought a gun


• Got caught with liquor


• Made up part about buying a gun.

Pretty boring really.  I need a girlfriend.  I’ve just now realized how much my life is dependent on the companionship of a woman, which is probably what they want in the long run, those sadistic creatures, but I don’t care.  Women are to the Man’s mind as LSD is to………..well, Man’s mind. 

Addictive.

Okay that made no sense to me at all, and at the same time it did.  I hate that.  Onward, I feel compelled to say that I’m not sure if I need a relationship or just a special friend.  I know it sounds horrible, but I’m not looking for commitment right now, because everytime I commit to something, it always screws me over, whether it be girls, liquor, friends, music, the government, my car, or any number of other assorted fruit flavored items found in gas station bathrooms.

So in conclusion, I’ve ended this post knowing even less about what I want than when I started.  My reasoning screws me over too apparently. 

Dammit.

-Caleb