***Random Bits of Poetry***
...bible verses running through my head.
Here's the thing:
There's a verse somewhere, I forgot which one, but it says to right the quarrels that you have with your brothers before going to the alter. Otherwise, those things will stay in your mind, and you won't have pure thoughts when you go to God.
I'm trying to do that now. Jonathan is, from what I perceive, still angry with me for "trying to push my religion" on him. I can't apologize for that because I was only doing what my God asks of me (not to push my religion on people, but to try to lead other people to the Lord). How am I supposed to right this quarrel with him, if he expects me to be sorry for what I did?
Perhaps he did get in a bad mood after I said what I did to him, but I've been in a bad mood too with all the house arrest, suspended driver's license, probation, and isolation from my friends the entire month, but don't expect me to blame that on me doing something that I regretted later on, like saying things I shouldn't have about friends. I take responsibility for my actions in that sense of things.
Don't get me wrong, everyone has the right to their beliefs. It is America, right? Heck, if one of my friend or family were homosexual, I wouldn't necessarily agree with their lifestyle, but I would support them 100% as a human being, and as a friend. That's how I view religion. It's not my job to change someone's mind.
I'll leave you with the relevant quote of mine that I post in the last entry:
"Remember that you should always keep in mind how you are perceived. The choices you make in life not only write your biography, but also your obituary." |
|
It's raining outside, and I feel like dancing--so I can forget all about today. Certain setbacks have caused me to debate whether I should eliminate certain things in my life that have now become failed investments and void checks. Last Saturday was my two month sober mark. I'm proud of myself actually. To think, my parents and my probation officer said that I don't have self-control.
Funeral tomorrow for Grampa Don. The funeral is at Oaklawn Church on Emory Street (across from the high school) at 10am.
Here's an original quote from me:
"Remember that you should always keep in mind how you are perceived. The choices you make in life not only write your biography, but also your obituary."
NEW POEM!
We are killing ourselves
with conformity without reason
Touch the trigger hold the gun
Auto-genicide is in season
We're a book without words
there are no answers for the blind
we turn our backs to the light
Think with a body without heart or mind.
Imperialists sit on thrones
while those indifferent lie in streets.
Truth and reality lie in skew
Two lines that might never meet.
When great men rise up from ruins
Those in charge put them in place
With conspiracy as the bullet
Left in ditches not to finish their race.
Social reform has become a hollow word
Because now there's a "Catch-22"
Give them every drop of your liberty
and they'll make some changes for you.
Fires blaze inside the underdogs
seeking a new age social revolution
but fine print and by-laws prevent such things,
for liberty is not in their Constitution.
So now we lie in silence, muffled
by the ambitions of "honorable men"
But every dog has its day
As soon as pride becomes a sin.
Corruption to world-class liars
has become a new currency
Can't anyone see that
we're killing ourselves with conformity?
The most kick ass song on "Earf" right now HAS to be "Returning the Smile You Have Had from the Start" by Emery. Instant Message me if you want to know what it sounds like, and I'll send the song to you. Ryan brought this up that probably the four most hardcore rock bands are all christian: Underoath, Emery, Showbread, and Dead Poetic. Neat!
I have decided that sometimes the best way to fight ignorance is with ignorance, and so I will do my best to make a mends with Jonathan. He is my own flesh and blood after all, despite the fact that we don't seem to share the same brain cells. All I can do is take him the way he is, as long as he takes me the way I am. I don't want to change him, never tried to, just tried to offer some information. After all, the conversation was more of a mutual argument of comebacks and smart ass generalizations, which can't really be taken literally by any means.
I have a memorial service to go to on Tuesday at Oaklawn Church, 10am, for "Grampa Don" Westrom. Some of you might now him, or have seen him downtown. He came to the Poet's Loft a lot. He's the type that I'm guessing Jonathan would hate, because he talked about God a lot, but I can see where Grampa Don was coming from. His daughter was the only survivor of the plane crash on West Mountain a few years back. Everyone else died, including her mother, boyfriend, aunt, best friend, and dog. She walked away with only scratches and some poison ivy--a miracle. Things like that would change anyone's outlook on life. Anyway, he died in his home last Wednesday. Here's the obituary:
(Stole this from my home girl Stacey)
| Basics | |
| Name | |
| Age | |
| Sex | |
| Hair color | |
| Eye color | |
| Zodiac sign | |
| Heritage/nationality | |
| Person your named after | |
| People you live with | |
| Favorites | |
| Color | |
| Band | |
| TV Show | |
| Video Game | |
| Movie | |
| Food | |
| Room in the house | |
| Cuss Word | |
| Flower | |
| Animal | |
| Sport | |
| Pizza Topping | |
| Season | |
| Shampoo | |
| Hairspray | |
| CD | |
| Gum | |
| Restaurant | |
| Late night activity | |
| Holiday | |
| Number | |
| Candy | |
| Song | |
| Starbucks beverage | |
| Are you for or Against... | |
| Prostitution | |
| Abortion | |
| Drunk Driving | |
| Legalizing Drugs | |
| Death Penalty | |
| Illegal immigrants | |
| Premarital sex | |
| War | |
| Hippies | |
| Porn | |
| Clothes on dogs | |
| School Uniforms | |
| Public Schools | |
| Spam | |
| Gay Marriage | |
| Slavery | |
| Interracial Relationships | |
| Arranged Marriages | |
| Republicans | |
| De-forestation | |
| Gun control | |
| Zoos | |
| Organic Farming | |
| Affirmative action | |
| Britney Spears | |
| Chuck Taylor's | |
| Preps | |
| Genetically Modified crops | |
| Curfews | |
| Tommy Hilfiger | |
| The Atkins Diet | |
| Victoria's Secret models | |
| Friends... | |
| The funny one | |
| The weird one | |
| The dumb ass | |
| The nerd | |
| The rocker | |
| The crazy one | |
| The drama Queen | |
| The athlete | |
| The writer | |
| The poet | |
| The shy one | |
| The prep | |
| The prom queen | |
| The rebel | |
| The druggie | |
| This or That | |
| Jello or Pudding | |
| AIM or MSN | |
| Hotmail or yahoo | |
| Carpet or hardwood | |
| Cats or Dogs | |
| Fish or mice | |
| Wine or beer | |
| Abercrombie or Hot Topic | |
| Cake or pie | |
| Kisses or hugs | |
| Golf or Poker | |
| Shower or bath | |
| Kinky or not | |
| Independent Films or Big Company Films | |
| Spoons or Forks | |
| Do you... | |
| Drink diet pop | |
| Eat a lot of junk food | |
| Watch soap operas | |
| Watch CSI | |
| Wear make up | |
| Take naps | |
| Own a cell phone | |
| Have a job | |
| When was the last time you | |
| Cursed | |
| Had sex | |
| Went to the mall | |
| Ate | |
| Went into a chat room | |
| Drank alcohol | |
| Went bowling | |
| Had a sleep over | |
| Got arrested | |
| Watched a porn | |
| Stared in a porn | |
| Went to the movies | |
| Told someone a secret | |
| Gave someone a gift | |
| Had a gift given to you | |
| Brushed your teeth | |
| Died your hair | |
| Gave advice | |
| Word Association | |
| Cat | |
| Fish | |
| Jacket | |
| Yo-Yo | |
| Bed | |
| Frog | |
| Hair | |
| Ice Cube | |
| Rope | |
| Pillow | |
| Lion | |
| Cage | |
| Water | |
| Watermelon | |
| Pink | |
| Spider | |
| |
There are three things that I'm working on at this very moment:
Mending relationships
Figuring out what I want to do with me life
Suffering a severe case of Writer's Block
Have you ever felt the need to write down you're feelings? I've written so much crap over the years (and grant you most of what you see of my writings, I consider to be bad), that I've actually considered giving up on writing. I'm not really that great at it. What will I ever do with it anyways? Get praise when I'm old about what I wrote before I was 18? Sure, money might come my way sometimes with publications, but I never really asked for that to begin with. I did it for myself above all.
I'm tired of writing, I'm tired of hurting all the time. It's stupid and pointless. No I'm not depressed. These are conscious observations. What am I going to do with my life? Even after 17 years I'm already tired of laboring to breathe. It's not that I don't want to breathe, but life needs to get a bit more interesting. I'm sick of living for me. I want to start living for something else, somebody else. I want want every person wants in life...
...I just want to be happy.
(Read John 14)
-Peace-
Caution: Long Post I don't have an anger problem, unlike what my probation officer, Andre, thinks. I'm not an angry person at all. I can count the number of fights I've been in with kids in my entire life on one hand, and all of those had legitimate reasons if I was the one that started them, of which I can only name one. However, I do get frustrated easily, quite frequently lately, and I've discovered something that I absolutely despise: Being falsely accused. Some recent examples of this would be:
Please read all of it and leave a comment
that is actually about the post
1) Being accused of being addicted to marijuana whenever I turned myself in to my probation officer for skipping school, despite the fact that I had been clean for almost a month, which at the time I blew up and became quite hostile towards my probation officer, resulting in 7 days spent in juvenile detention. My innocence (and his embarrassment) was revealed a day later when I tested negative for illegal substances in a drug test.
2) While in JDC being accused of beating on the tables of the recreation room while a person was asleep after he asked us to quit. The person doing the beating was my roommate. He called the front office about it, which resulted in me calling him a "little bitch", which ultimately resulted in me getting lock down for 24 hours.
3) Being accused of "ruining someone's weekend and good mood" for mentioning 3 lines about my religion to them in an instant messaging conversation, and then being accused of "trying to push my religion" on them. The simple fact was that I was only doing my own part. It's their choice, so they shouldn't have acted like I tied them down and force fed them spoonfuls of Christian gospels down their throat. The very fact that they accused me of this ludicrous claim frustrates me, and so I have began my series of rants about this person's repeated acts of false accusations, which is a cornerstone of what I would like to call "Ignorance".
(Foreword: You may officially consider this a rant!)
Chapter I
"I have a Problem"
You see folks, I have this problem. This is not my rant about some insignificant object, idealistic concept, or behavior, nor does it revolve around any mediocre philosophies about life or human emotion. Those post have either already come, or are coming in the future. Instead, it is more meticulously directed towards a subject that has somehow become more frequently overlooked in the publications of the everyday working-class blogger, which is redundant at that! (If they even work at all, that is.)
No, instead of creating "Copy & Paste" reviews on trivial gadgets that, despite the class-case of multi-billionaire conglomerates showcasing their advances in technology, still fail to deliver the satisfaction one gets from doing the work manually and not falling prey to the "American virtue" of laziness, and instead of once again creating chronicles of my life within the unconscious stupor of "Xangan Liberty" (which will undoubtedly become George W. Bush's newest semi-private mass media/ information archive in his newest scheme to put the "Patriot Act" into operation and uncover "Splinter Cells" within the "Homeland" and label every U.S. citizen as a "National Security Threat"), I have decided to take a different approach in this post, and use Xanga for what it was originally intended for: Actually blogging!
The focus of this rant is a specific group of people of all economic and ethnic status. Notice that I took care not to mention "mental status" in the previous statement, due to the fact that although they may have the ample capacity to discover a cure for cancer, they do not possess enough to look down to see their shoelaces are tied together before taking off down the track of life--which of course is just one of those sayings that people use to mean something else.
I can vaguely remember anything that I write anymore, but if you were to look back at one of my previous entries, you should find one with the statement: "Curiosity didn't kill the cat, but ignorance did!" There's the "hook" in this rant for you. If these people would simply take the harmless curiosity to "look down to check their shoelaces before they took off", the truth wouldn't be the pavement breaking their nose, but instead the wind in their hair.
Take this example of ignorance (but don't take this ignorance for example!):
Online Acronyms:
" OMG! WTF!!! ROFLAO LOL!!!!! "
...translation:
" Wow, funny "
Let me make a grid for those of you who are a bit slower than others.
Damn the ignorant online acronyms!
...to be continued
~Buff Muff
There's no more room for God in Religion!
Little known fact:
My least favorite word is the entire English language is "Religion".
I seem to be the most liberal, socialistic, and pacifistic Christian I have ever met. I am more of a "Spiritual" Christian than a "Religious" Christian. Some of these "Religious" Christians deface the truer meaning of Christianity by clouding it by idolling these so-called "Saints" and exiling people from The Church for not paying a "tax of penances, which "allowed" payers to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, for a certain price of course, which went into the pockets of Popes and bishops (18th Century Roman Catholics).
I don't know what it is about the whole cage-match between Christians and "Non-Christians". Well, at least American Christians. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to get the impression that people generally view American Christians as:
a) Right-winged (I'm definitely a left-wing)
b) conservative (I'm more on the liberal side of the spectrum)
c) bible thumping (I don't even know enough of it to memorize!)
d) unreasonable (I can actually be quite reasonable, unless you're just wrong)
e) narrow-minded (I personally agree with Islamic AND Buddhist values)
f) bigots (I try to practice what I preach, & if I mess up I try to fix it)
g) arrogant (Has anyone knows me personally EVER heard me go around saying "I'm a Christian! Look at me! I'm better. WoOt!"
(For Malaysia, the stereotype is c to g. 
We're not exempt from stereotyping either! And most Malaysians are politically apathetic, unfortunately.)
Of course Christians are not all like that. Like how Buddhists, Muslims, etc are not all the same. I mean, take me for example. Politically, I’m a leftist (oh, the shock, the horror!). My political opinions are certainly not welcomed in some Christian blogs. Even if it is, people will wonder why I am the way I am.
I like Quentin Tarantino and I think Kill Bill Vol.1 rocks (Vol.2 not so much). I thought the violence in the movie was hilarious because it was so hokey.
Better, I’m not American! (Ok, just kidding! I just happen to notice most Christian bloggers are American.)
My point is, judging and fearing people based on stereotype is just not good reasoning. We’re people first and foremost. (And which is why I find NCIS increasingly difficult to watch because of the Muslim stereotyping, but I digress.)
It does make you sad, though, that modern people have this perception of Christians. I really don’t blame them with the malarkey running around: millionaire televangelists, Christian marketing, vapid Christian jargon, insensitive evangelizing techniques, I love Jesus stress balls … It tends to turn people very cynical. Do you think we could ever remedy it?
Not that this is anything new, mind you. The Romans thought Christians were atheists because they didn’t have any idols. I guess people will always look at us “one kind”.
...However
I know I always hated it when people threw the "Jesus Card" at me before I was so devoted (see picture above), and with that said, I personally try not to do the same, because it is true, the more you push, the more they run from it, but it isn't my job as a Christian to change peoples' minds because that's their own doing. What people don't realize about God (and it doesn't say this in the Bible or anything, but it's only logical) is that God can't mess with human choice. If any god could, everybody would believe in that god. Since obviously not everyone does, then it's evident that gods can't. The same principle goes for prayer. You can't ask your god for someone to love you, or for your parents to buy you a new car, or for material luxuries. As a "Spiritual" Christian, I focus not on if I'm at church every Sunday, or at Youth Group every Wednesday, or at Open-Gym every Friday, but rather I tend to focus on spiritual gain--the affirmation of my beliefs through prayer and praise--and I get more out of what I learn from myself than I ever could from my attendance at church, or how much money I have when I die, or my accomplishments with music or art or poetry, or even my greatest accomplishments in academics.
No...
I'd rather be poor and realize the truth, than to be the richest man alive and be blind to it.
Buff Muff
Oh.6.G (247)
So much damn homework last night. Oh my god, it was simply horrible. My cousin is all "Isolate Myself From the World Who Doesn't Care About Me" right now. I'm just gonna let him be that way, because in the end, doing that is going to drive him more insane than the alternative. Trust me, I went through it too. Hope he comes 'round. I'm praying for him.
-Caleb-
Recent Comments